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It Took Over My Life

lotusflower13lotusflower13 Posts: 1,260Member
I guess I'm saying goodbye. I had started out with 3 subscriptions in 2014 and found this site last October, I grew to 34 boxes. I literally could not pay my bills. I was seriously addicted.

I have a lot going on and not just caring for my grandmother. I have mental health issues and a lot of stuff going on. I'm in a serious depression and my therapist says this is the worst she's seen me in 9 years.

After crying in bed for 2 hours I sat up and cancelled all my boxes and not for the right reasons, it's just because I don't care anymore.
I was always financially responsible until now.

I was supposed to see my psychiatrist tomorrow to possibly get a new antidepressant, but because I can't pay I had to cancel and now she can't see me until July 11th. I hope I can hold on until then.

I have 3 swaps that have to mail out and I can't even get out of bed.

I just want to say thank you all for your kindness and generosity. It means so much to me and I'll never forget it. I want to try and get rid of what I have and what's coming in so that no one else has to deal with it.

I'll stop in every now and then, but right now I can't do much at all, but lay in bed and cry.

Sorry that you had to listen to this if you got to the end. I appreciate each and every one of you.
<3 Valene


  • Brandi1441MarieBrandi1441Marie Posts: 73Member
    @lotusflower13 I am so sorry you are going through this, but you are amazing for having the strength to start taking the steps to make it better. Best of luck to you.
  • chefkristinchefkristin Posts: 1,503Member
    edited June 5
    @lotusflower13 you should be proud of yourself for cancelling the subs and getting life in order. Put yourself on swap vacation you don't need to deal with shipping now, you need to take care of yourself. I'll stay in touch my friend, you know I am there for you! You know many people on this site are here for you too!
  • lalalalalala Posts: 885Member
    I am so sorry you're dealing with this. I wish we were all there to help you through it all. I hope that you can find a way to see your psychiatrist sooner than July. Maybe that would help. *HUGS*
  • sarasara Posts: 2,479Member
    @lotusflower13, I am so sorry to hear you aren't feeling well. You have taken a great step in cancelling all your subscriptions, that's very brave and the financial benefit will certainly come to you. Take good care of yourself, and perhaps reach out to your doctor to tell her how difficult a time you are having, in hopes she can do something about the wait.
  • cmiller512cmiller512 Posts: 1,411Member
    So sorry that you are going through this. I pray that things get better and that you start to feel much much better soon. Take care, we will definitely miss you. *hugs* <3
  • DonnaDonna Posts: 212Member
    So sorry that you are going through this. I agree that cancelling your subs was a good move. Hopefully very soon you will feel good about that and I hope the fact that you don't have a bunch of subs to pay for will help you feel lighter and more hopeful. There are lots of positive thoughts coming your way.
  • whitpickwhitpick Posts: 432Member
    edited June 6
    I'm glad you found the strength to make a life change. If you want any help fulfilling your swaps or anything else, I would be happy to help! I too know how tough depression is to battle. Sending positive thoughts your way.
    Post edited by whitpick on
  • julzy567julzy567 Posts: 707Member
    I am so sorry to hear this. Just remember.. feel better and know everything will get better. :)
  • entwashianentwashian Posts: 1,025Member
    You're on the right track. Taking care of yourself is the most important thing to be doing right now. :cookie:
  • Cara0730Cara0730 Posts: 1,187Member
    @lotusflower13 I agree with @chefkristin Put yourself on vacation mode and don't even think twice about it. The most important thing here is you. You are such a kind, generous, selfless, thoughtful person. Please don't worry about anything but yourself! <3
  • lisadlisad Posts: 2,136Member
    @lotusflower13 Valene, please know it can only get better, take care of you first. I'll keep you in my thoughts!
  • cleegiantscleegiants Posts: 1,317Member
    We never had the pleasure of of swapping @lotusflower13 but you have been a gracious and great asset to the community. Please take care of yourself first, as we really are only dealing with "stuff" here. Take all the time you need to make yourself happy, and if that road comes back to Sublandia, you'll always be welcome.
  • GadilikiGadiliki Posts: 285Member
    @lotusflower, the first step is often the hardest, and you have already taken it. I admire your strength and wisdom for recognizing that you have to make some changes in your life right now in order to help yourself. Sending you good thoughts and positive vibes.
  • gillepgillep Posts: 272Member
    positive thoughts being sent your way <3 <3 <3
  • KristyKristy Posts: 1,810Member
    Always take care of yourself first @lotusflower13 :heart: It's awesome you're taking the steps to get yourself healthier and happier! Take care girlie!
  • njphelpsnjphelps Posts: 604Member
    Take Care <3
  • NightshiftNightshift Posts: 1,638Member
    Please take care of yourself! Everything else is secondary to your own well being. Sending prayers and good vibes your way. I hope things get better! :heart:
  • Kelly1109Kelly1109 Posts: 328Member
    @lotusflower13 just wanted to say I'm thinking of you! It takes a lot of strength to admit there is an issue and you've taken a huge step in the right direction by cancelling your boxes! If there is anything I can do during this time just let me know! You have a lot of people on here cheering for you!
  • SaizaSaiza Posts: 1,761Member
    I'm sorry you're going through this, I hope it gets better for you! I know what debt is and how overwhelming it can be.
  • KatMKatM Posts: 175Member
    You are not alone in your struggle. I have battled with debt and depression and you are taking a great step forward. Taking control of the now will help you take small steps forward. Just keep thinking tomorrow will be better than today. Every positive step will take you closer to your goal. Wishing you the best :-)
  • LexiStockmanLexiStockman Posts: 11Member
    Big hugs & positive vibes your way dear
  • Rain08Rain08 Posts: 222Member
    *hugs* Depression really sucks (add me to the list of people on here battling it.) You seem like such a nice person, and while it doesn't feel like it yet, you're going in the right direction. Like @Blackberry said, try calling them, and let them know you really need to be seen.
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