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I just had my first less than perfect swap.

diamondsonhertoesdiamondsonhertoes Posts: 994Member
edited December 2015 in Swaps
I decided to start swapping again and have been getting a few swaps both ways. I had someone request an item I got from BB. She is a newbie so I wanted to swap to help her get her rating up. I selected 2 small items. She took awhile to ship which never bothers me with communication. I waited until her package arrived because she had no feedback and sent mine off.

When I opened one of the items it was obvious that it has been used. The cap and ridged part that you twist the cap on to on the tube are filthy. Dried cream and dirt and who knows what else. I won't use that because it's kind of gross. She did include a note apologizing for the delayed shipping and explaining her reasons so that was nice.

Since accepting she's received one positive and one neutral feedback. I am all for helping a newbie out with swaps but I'm not sure I should give her positive feedback. I don't want to leave a negative one either. It was a low value swap so I am not upset about the loss of the item. I just want to make sure she is aware she should check items and list them as used if they are used. I thought about sending her a message in our swap but she didn't reply to the one I sent during swap so I don't know if she sees them?

What would you do? It was such a low value item I don't want to ruin her experience but I also don't want to open the floodgates for more items like that being shipped out.
Post edited by chris on


  • AngienharryAngienharry Posts: 1,370Member
    Maybe try pm'ing her?, or if you're really stuck you could send a note to her in the regular mail since you have her address from the swap. I think she definitely needs to know that's not cool. As far as the rating I'm not sure I could leave positive, even if it is low value you still had to throw the item away. I think neutral would be being kind. I'm new to swapping too, so I appreciate that it's a bit confusing, but she needs to know that wasn't right.
  • MiriamMiriam Posts: 1,797Member
    That is really uncool. If an item is something that you swapped for and then are swapping again you should check its condition. She may be new and not aware of that or she may have used it and not cared, either way I completely understand you not wanting to set other people up to have to deal with that. If you add a message in the swap won't she definitely see it because it will show up in her e-mail? I would say start with a comment in the swap, if she doesn't respond or responds badly then it would be fair to leave a comment in your feedback warning others. When I was new, I was super cautious and checked with my swappers to make sure things were OK (honestly I'm still kind of that way) I am not sure there's really an excuse for sending out an item in such bad condition.
  • KathleenKathleen Posts: 414Member
    I've had this dilemma before and what I do is I contact them and base feedback on the resolution. If she's more than willing to resolve, you can leave positive feedback that the product was used but she was willing to make it right. If you don't get a response or is unwilling to resolve, I think negative feedback is warranted. Some people may not be bothered by the fact that a swapper sends used products, depending on what they swap for. But if a person doesn't take responsibility for things, that is something that we all would want to know about, imo. Good luck! I empathize because it sounds like you were trying to do something nice but she ended up putting you in an awkward position. I'm sorry you had to deal with that. It's never fun. :(
  • WendyWendy Posts: 523Member
    edited December 2015
    I'm new to swapping and that's not cool, when your new you should be even more on top of it and triple check things or at minimum reply to you and make it right offer something else. Just my opinion. I also made the personal decision not to list a cosmetic item for swap unless it has a safety seal. Just my preference
  • WendyMWendyM Posts: 858Member
    Here's the thing- feedback is for helping others figure out if this person does what they say they are going to do. I totally agree you first give people a chance to make it right in private, but for whatever reason if she doesn't, a negative review will help all of us know we take a chance swapping with her. I know we like to be kind, helpful & understanding- and we have probably unknowingly made mistakes ourselves- but sometimes you have to stand up and say no. No this was not a good experience.
  • diamondsonhertoesdiamondsonhertoes Posts: 994Member
    Thanks for your advice. I will send a message and go from there. Hopefully it was just a mistake.
  • catcat Posts: 1,921Member
    @diamondsonhertoes I would try contacting her first before leaving feedback. Communication on her end is very important especially with a situation like this. Maybe it was an accident and she had 2 of the same product and accidently sent you the used one, or maybe she sent you the product in hopes you would not notice or leave positive feedback prior to opening it up. If it was intentional chances are that it has happened to other swappers, and leaving negative feedback or neutral depending how she responds back will help hundreds of swappers decide whether this person is a good person to swap with.
  • JennGJennG Posts: 2,452Member
    @diamondsonhertoes the red flag to me is she is new and she already has another bad rating and something like this happened before. Looks like a pattern to me.
  • nananana Posts: 835Member
    So I just had the same thing happen to me - alas, I gave her positive feedback before checking the items and noticing one (at least) was used). I'm going to e-mail her and let her know. There is always the possibility that she didn't know that it was used (e.g. her child checked it out without her knowing and then try to seal it back up). But if this happens to someone else, please let me know.
  • meowsicatmeowsicat Posts: 662Member
    Ugh you guys I am in non responsive swapper hell. I swapped with a fairly new person before the holidays. I know I was supposed to wait but we all had to start somewhere and I wait impatiently once a swap is agreed upon, so I shipped my stuff. It's only been 10 days since I started asking her for updates but I have received NO communication. Not sure how long I should give her. I know another swapper had a problem with her but gave her benefit of doubt bc of suspected health issues. I sold on eBay for over 10 years and I was careful about leaving negative feedback only after all other avenues were exhausted. What's a reasonable time frame to wait? I don't even care that the stuff I sent I'll probably never see again. Sooo disappointing and frustrating.
  • nananana Posts: 835Member
    I'd wait until mid-week. The holidays can cause chaos in so many people's lives (a person I know lost their child and another one their grand child last weekend!) that you never know if a swap now is just an anomalie.
  • NatlovesmelodyNatlovesmelody Posts: 3,412Member
    @meowsicat crossing my fingers your package will arrive soon
  • meowsicatmeowsicat Posts: 662Member
    @Natlovesmelody I thank you but based on some other folks I have heard from, it probably hasn't even been packed and shipped. but it's ok, you live and you learn, right? I'm already moving on to bigger and better swaps lol. Went thru my swap boxes this morning and realized I have far too much "stuff" and my boyfriend is making snarky comments about the quantity of things spreading out across my bathroom and closets. Time to de clutter!
  • reganb1reganb1 Posts: 1,029Member
    Twice recently I have had people request to cancel a swap because they decided it was uneven or they want something different. Is it wrong that this super annoys me? I have had swappers remorse before too but I sucked it up and finished the swap because I was the one who chose to accept it! Both of these swaps were ones where I requested something and then they said what they wanted. I have been swapping on here for almost two years and these were the first. Has this been happening to others?
  • mini2zmini2z Posts: 2,341Member
    @reganb1 I've not had that happen
    I for the life of me can't figure out how people get multiple swaps going, I tried swapping with someone that had seven-ish things she was following and got sorry I'm looking for a clutch...
  • AdelineAdeline Posts: 329Member
    edited April 2016
    I just started swapping recently. I reswapped a small tub of lotion recently. I checked the item because it was a reswap. I honestly couldn't tell if the item was used, it's was full but had a bubble in the bottom ... so I checked the other swappers list and had 3 other items they were following. I let the swapper pick one of the item and sent them the tub of lotion as well. I thought that was the fair thing to do.
  • chefkristinchefkristin Posts: 1,938Member
    I have done roaks, ISO and color swaps, just started my swap profile. I am thankful for those willing to take a chance on a newbie!
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