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Frustrating Swaps 5.0

cleegiantscleegiants Posts: 1,933Member
If you are seeking chocolate therapy, move along. nothing to see here.

Okay, with that out of the way. I am frustrated with myself for a swap. I offered to swap a used luxe item to someone, but after noticing it had more wear and tear than I was comfortable swapping, I offered a slightly different brand new one. It hadn't arrived yet when we finalized the swap, but I was expecting it in the next week or two. Well, a month later, due to difficulties with the post office, it's still not here. My swap partner has been great about it, but I feel terrible about this delay. It was definitely a high value swap, and I'm wondering if i should offer to just ship my portion back and let her work out a swap with someone else? It's "replaceable" and i'm confident i'll eventually get the item, but how long would you wait?


  • boxjoyboxjoy Posts: 2,921Member
    I agree with @lotusflower13 Just check it with your swapper and let them decide what works for them. We wait a month or two sometimes for boxes we sub to so I'm comfortable waiting that long if something goes wrong with a swap as long as the other swapper is communicative. It does suck to be on the other side though. I felt the same way when I split an RZ box with someone and RZ took forever to ship it to me.
  • seuss516seuss516 Posts: 406Member
    I third the comments above. Rarely do I swap for something i genuinely 'need' (present, running out of something etc) so I'm always content to wait if need be. If your partner hasn't indicated this is a high priority I'd accept the generosity and try to remember to pay it forward.
  • cleegiantscleegiants Posts: 1,933Member
    @lotusflower13 @boxjoy @seuss516 thanks. I know it's not life or death, and so i'm more frustrated with myself. i wish the used item had been in better shape so i would be comfortable swapping it. only my own clumsiness to blame there. It just reiterates the fact that circumstances beyond our control (USPS) exist, so extending a little bit of grace and patience in swaps is always good. Plus, communication. I've been open about the delays, so i hope that alleviates any concerns. If it had been this long with no communication, that would be worrisome for someone on the other side.
  • cleegiantscleegiants Posts: 1,933Member
    @strmama2 thanks! I am super annoyed with myself and you have been nothing but patient. and you never responded to my PMs, (i know, life), so i was concerned that I had really messed up!
  • lotusflower13lotusflower13 Posts: 1,506Member
    @cleegiants I completely agree. The fact that you're communicating and didn't send a swap that you didn't feel comfortable sending would mean a lot to me if I was swapping with you. It'd be even more reason to wait for it.
  • strmama2strmama2 Posts: 679Member
    @cleegiants Sorry girl... I am just seeing it now. I was away at s dance convention with limited internet access. Seriously.. no worries! :)
  • KatieKatKatieKat Posts: 140Member
    I agree communication is key. Question, I'm on the other side of a swap, where I'm swapping for something I really want, my swap partner recieved her items February 4th and she hasn't responded to me since. I'm trying to be patient because I really want those superstars it took forever to swap for them but I'm worried. How long do you wait?
  • DarCoDarCo Posts: 666Member
    @KatieKat in the same boat. Trying to be patient. But honestly if they just tell me something is going on, I would be fine with that. But no communication or effort on their part can make one wary and wonder. I'm Darlene in the real world
    Be curious about the world around you, and never stop learning
  • janeyjaney Posts: 315Member
    @KatieKat i'm kinda in the same boat. i agreed to a swap with a relatively new swapper (over 5 swaps, but less than 25) for something i really wanted, but this person recently received negative feedback (the other swapper never received her items in multiple swaps with this person) so i wanted to wait to receive before shipping. they said they would ship sometime last week, but til now i haven't gotten any updates or tracking number, but i also don't want to feel like i'm delaying shipping (even though i am). i was going to send another message but didn't want to feel like i was pestering them.

    so same question, how long do you wait?
    if it's not a match, it's not a match. no biggie B)
    swap profile
  • boxjoyboxjoy Posts: 2,921Member
    Admin has said in the past to reach out to them if you haven't heard from your swapper in 2 weeks and have reached out multiple times. You can also try emailing the swapper directly in case they are not getting email notifications.
  • janeyjaney Posts: 315Member
    @boxjoy ahhh, i see! i will keep that in mind and wait the two weeks! Thank you :)

    Also, I keep seeing people mention the emailing - sometimes I see the other person's email, but most of the time I don't. Is this normal?
    if it's not a match, it's not a match. no biggie B)
    swap profile
  • boxjoyboxjoy Posts: 2,921Member
    edited February 2017
    @janey It's usually listed on the email you get when the swap is accepted.

    Also, I agree with Paige, that given the fact that they recently received negative feedback indicating that they never shipped that I would wait to ship until they do. If there are red flags like that it's wise to be cautious.
  • janeyjaney Posts: 315Member
    @paige @boxjoy thank you! i hope it works out too :) i will have to go look for that email as well!
    if it's not a match, it's not a match. no biggie B)
    swap profile
  • birdertonbirderton Posts: 378Member
    I've noticed that if I initiate a swap and the other user accepts, the email notification/confirmation I receive has their personal email address. But if they initiate, I don't get that same confirmation email. In this case is their email in the original swap message that they want to swap with me?
  • seuss516seuss516 Posts: 406Member
    I had a brand new swapper (0) a few weeks ago who took what seemed like forever to provide shipping - if memory serves it was close to 10 days. I travel a lot so it would occur to me now and then and I'd check and nothing. I started to wonder if she had shipped and didn't know to provide the shipping information so, just prior to a trip, I updated with a comment something to the effect of 'since you are new MSA asks that I wait until I receive your package to send mine. I wanted to let you know that if you have shipped or ship this week I will be away and won't be able to mail until Saturday (date)' This worked and she provided the shipping information (she hadn't yet shipped) so it all worked out. I feel a bit bad as I think my tact was a bit passive aggressive. She wasn't really communicative so I'm not sure how she interpreted it.
  • entwashianentwashian Posts: 1,957Member
    @seuss516 I've had a couple new swappers that I've had to contact several times, and not gotten any action for a while, so I pretty much wrote off those swaps, but I did eventually get them!
  • finlidanfinlidan Posts: 1,875Member
    Shipping late isn't a huge deal to me BUT I noticed that my shipping times for what I sent out were getting longer and longer because of other stuff coming up, so I decided to put my profile on vacation mode and stop swapping. I'm sure it was getting annoying that I'd already have the other person's stuff before I sent my side out. At least I always sent it out.. eventually. But yeah, I also took off the 3-5 day shipping guarantee. Shipping is a hassle!
  • ShawnaShawna Posts: 998Member
    I'm doing as many swaps between now and the end of March as I can because I know I'll be back working soon and then I'll have no time to ship anything, except on Saturdays. Yeah, shipping is weirdly hard.
  • Maureen_BMaureen_B Posts: 469Member
    @shawna weirdly hard is right. My issue is I remember have to ship right as I've put my head on my pillow at night, and tell myself "I'll package it up in the morning!" but then always hit snooze too much and don't get to it. No excuse, its!
  • boxjoyboxjoy Posts: 2,921Member
    If I did not have a 24 hour kiosk at my post office and I didn't live 5 blocks from the post office I'm pretty sure I would never swap.
  • birdertonbirderton Posts: 378Member
    Agreed. If I hadn't started doing the Pay Pal shipping so that I could do it all from home, I would've stopped about a month in.
  • KristyKristy Posts: 2,355Member
    @boxjoy I love the self-serve kiosk. I use it so much, I even help other people in line who are having problems with it :lol:
  • leiaburgessleiaburgess Posts: 253Member
    Is it acceptable to cancel a swap with no comment? I am getting a deluge of swap offers and I have listed the exact items I am willing to swap for. I have people with just beauty items and nothing I follow making requests. Is it rude to just hit cancel with no response? I am afraid that maybe they have an unlisted Stella M black bag, which I want bad! But wouldn't someone list it before they submitted a swap request if they saw the person was looking for that item? I would never want to offend someone but OMG I have had over 30 requests just this morning!!! Do people just send out swap requests in mass and not regard the followed list of the other swapper, in the hopes that someone bites?
  • CassieBCassieB Posts: 640Member
    @leiaburgess I don't believe every swapper checks the other persons followed list (can be time consuming). Also, I know some swappers have mentioned on here (different thread, can't remember which) that just because they are not following listings that a swapper has, doesn't mean they wouldn't be interested in any of their items. So I'm sure some swappers are just hoping that they will have something listed the other person may want but not necessarily follow.
  • boxjoyboxjoy Posts: 2,921Member
    @Kristy I do the same thing! I'm pretty sure I could go through the prompts blindfolded at this point.
  • MelissaBMelissaB Posts: 1,771Member
    @leiaburgess Yes, it is acceptable to cancel with no comment. Some people prefer that, while others prefer a comment. Since you don't know who prefers which, you just have to do what you prefer. Yes, many people send requests to people without checking their followed list. Everyone has different swap styles. Just because someone doesn't have something you are following at that moment doesn't mean that you might not find something on their list that you would like anyway. They might also be expecting to get an item that you have or, as you said, have one unlisted, but in that case, they would be wise to send you a note along with the swap request that says, "I have x item unlisted if you are interested," or "I am expecting my Oui Please box next week, so will have item Y that you are looking for." Are you sure that none of the people making swap requests have sent any notes along with the requests?

    You could send some people a box of roses, and they'd complain about the thorns, or the smell, or the color.
  • LisaBLisaB Posts: 1,787Member
    @leiaburgess I think it's perfectly acceptable to cancel w/o a comment. Especially if you are getting that many requests. Plus I feel the same way...and if they do have something unlisted I want I would hope they would tell me but when I get those kind of requests with no comment I have to wonder..

    Just cancel..I'm sure they know why!
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