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When you cancel a swap, do you also add a note? Or just send the cancellation?

sarita3sarita3 Posts: 160Member
edited August 8 in Swaps
I always send a little note when I'm cancelling a swap (unless there's an auto cancel and I don't get to it). Not everyone does though. Do you guys think it is annoying to get another notification that is just apologizing for the cancel? Or do you appreciate the gesture?

When you cancel a swap, do you also add a note? Or just send the cancellation? 58 votes

Cancel with note
DebraSaizamilstarrMisaMisaCara0730sherPamPonder88ElissacaliforniajanetDianeERprettycatentwashianMicheleHappyCatcareybJackiecupcakeNightshiftDonnaRaeKatz 36 votes
Cancel without note
elizabethjMoiSurtoutAngienharryjoiedevie99Em1rachel4913laurabFayesaravkbrownpnutbuddachefkristinkhryseeKristyEliseCarmenseuss516gillepbirdertonJulie39 22 votes


  • nancytnancyt Posts: 925Member
    @sarita3 If I have a lot going on in my life and I am very busy,I just cancel or I may keep checking back to see if they have added more items. Sometimes I say that I do not see anything right now but maybe we can swap again. It actually depends on what is going on in my life at the time because my hours and days switch up so much...Sometimes sad to say but I just do not respond :s Nothing to do with the swapper, just bad timing for me.
  • sarita3sarita3 Posts: 160Member
    Cancel with note
    @lalala You're right -- I should have! I think it's too late to edit the poll though. I guess people can vote on what they normally do in most circumstances? I'm just curious what people think is the swap etiquette.
  • KristyKristy Posts: 2,282Member
    Cancel without note
    I usually cancel without a note, because I rarely get a swap request with a note. If I get a note, I am more likely to send one with my cancel.
  • entwashianentwashian Posts: 1,807Member
    edited August 8
    Cancel with note
    Predictive text on my phone makes it super easy to shoot off a quick "sorry, I don't see anything I need right now!" Sometimes if I notice it's someone who is new to swaps, I'll add "feel free to try again later!" or whatever.

    It's not something that I necessarily need, expect, or even want, really, from a swap partner, but I've learned from being on the forum for a while that most people seem to prefer more communication, & I figure it's easy enough to do.

    ETA: I should say that I'm actually on swapcation right now, so I'm not responding to requests at all (even to cancel), unless it's a pre-arranged thing with a forum member.
  • GrammrGrlGrammrGrl Posts: 72Member
    Cancel without note
    I occasionally send a note for cancellation if I initiated and/or there's been communication back and forth. I don't worry when swappers cancel with no note, I figure the swaps that work out were meant and don't spend a lot of time worrying about the others.
  • JackiecupcakeJackiecupcake Posts: 1,133Member
    Cancel with note
    I typically send a note, unless it's something that's been requested a ton. I'd rather have no note and a cancel then have something sit in purgatory though.
  • joiedevie99joiedevie99 Posts: 952Member
    Cancel without note
    If the swap request came with a note, I'll send one back. Otherwise I just cancel.
  • gillepgillep Posts: 440Member
    Cancel without note
    I only send a note if the requester sent one with the request.
  • whitpickwhitpick Posts: 1,192Member
    Cancel with note
    I usually leave a note, especially if it's either a brand new swapper (so they feel encouraged not discouraged) a repeat swap buddy/forum friend.
  • sarita3sarita3 Posts: 160Member
    Cancel with note
    I've always left a note but I'm beginning to think it's not necessary in all swaps.
  • CarmenCarmen Posts: 216Member
    Cancel without note
    If someone takes the time to write me a note I normally reply before I cancel but if it is just a swap request and the other swapper has nothing I follow I just cancel.
  • Ponder88Ponder88 Posts: 697Member
    edited August 8
    Cancel with note
    I always leave a note but understand if someone doesn't.
  • MelissaBMelissaB Posts: 1,764Member
    It depends. I usually say, "I'm sorry!", but sometimes I leave longer explanations. Sometimes I cancel without a note because I'm in a hurry or because I don't think the swap request is worth a comment (sorry to sound rude). I got a request recently from someone who wanted a tiny item that's probably only worth a couple bucks and then 2 items on my list that I had marked as "free with swap." So she wants me to spend $3 to send her items for free? Girl, that's not a swap, that's a RAOK, and I am *not* in the mood for that right now.

    You could send some people a box of roses, and they'd complain about the thorns, or the smell, or the color.
  • missycat928missycat928 Posts: 1,108Member
    I treat others the way they treat me. If they send a note with their request, I will respond back. If they don't, I don't.
  • VeraciousVerityVeraciousVerity Posts: 171Member
    It depends upon my mood and how exhausted I am from work that day. If they leave a note then I'm more inclined to do so too, but sometimes it still makes me feel bad that I want to cancel. I'm just simply too tired and too busy these days to swap just to swap since shipping requires me to have the time and energy to package and to ship so I tend to swap when people have things i'm actively seeking or if they have things i'm interested in and are wanting things i'm not picky about and just want gone. I rely on having my saturdays to ship (and hope I can fit it into a lunch break if I get one) but that doesn't mean things don't come up that day too. I guess it really depends on my mood overall (like this week i'm super drained and exhausted hence the rambling).
  • boxjoyboxjoy Posts: 2,750Member
    It's not so simple as "note" or "no note" as a policy. If someone comments I always comment back. If they do not comment then I don't feel any obligation to engage but I will, sometime, still comment if they are new or if I feel my written explanation will better help them understand why I declined and what kind of items I am looking to swap for the item for. As for swaps I initiate, I don't care if the comment or not if they decline.
  • sarasara Posts: 3,876Member
    Cancel without note
    I agree with @boxjoy, although my default is without note. A note equals two emails, and if I am getting a straight cancel, I am just as happy to just get one email as a second which says "sorry". If there is something to be said, a reason, or a hope of a future swap, I appreciate the note and I send one in that circumstance as well. Otherwise, I only add a note if I know the swapper or they have sent me a note.
    I would love to swap- ask me for my profile!
  • lynndeannelynndeanne Posts: 704Member
    It depends. If I think we might be able to make a swap work in future I'll put a note. But if I don't have anything useful to add and there has been no discussion, I won't do a note.
  • chefkristinchefkristin Posts: 2,009Member
    Cancel without note
    If they took the time to send a note with the swap I will definitely leave a note if I cancel. And I sometimes will leave a note for a newbie.
  • elizabethjelizabethj Posts: 592Member
    Cancel without note
    I cancel without a note, but I always answer people who say something to me, so I end up sending a note with cancellations about 1/4th of the time.
  • DianeERDianeER Posts: 1,226Member
    Cancel with note
    I always leave a note when I do anything on the swap site. Just my way of being communicative, I guess.
  • nelliebelle1197nelliebelle1197 Posts: 2,652Member
    Can't answer this because it is not an either/or answer. Sorry.
  • vkbrownvkbrown Posts: 433Member
    Cancel without note
    I leave a note if someone sent one with the request. If not, I generally don't.
  • Jen_GJen_G Posts: 218Member
    I am still a relative newbie (under 20 swaps at this point) but I have worked out my own personal etiquette rules for how I respond to swaps:

    *If I initiate a swap, I try to send a message.
    *If the other person counter swaps without any kind of communication, I either cancel or accept without further communication, unless I have something very specific to say, like "I have X that you follow and I can list it for you if you are interested."
    *If the other person initiates with a message, I *try* to message back, even when cancelling.
    *If the other person initiates without a message, I feel free to cancel without a message (especially if they don't have any listings I follow)

    Recently I had a head-scratcher. Some one initiated a swap for something I had, without any message, and I responded with what I thought was a pretty fair swap. She countered with something that made it a not-as-desirable-for-me swap, again with no comment, so I cancelled, again without a comment. No harm, no foul, no problem as far as I was concerned.

    This morning I awoke to a comment on the now cancelled swap saying "Did you know these (Items you have) are $8 for three in a package, which makes my swap total 16 and your swap total was about 22 for the after ($12rv Item I have) and the (other $10 item I have)? Not trying to be rude. I don't know if you know this or not."

    I was a bit put off. I responded as politely as I could, letting her know that one, the $10 item she had was almost two years old and there are still 174 of them available, and that two, I wasn't obligated to make a swap that I don't want, regardless of rv. I wished her luck in future swaps. Then I put her on ignore. I don't care to be lecture for cancelling a swap.

    Sorry this is so long. It's still bugging me, for some reason.
  • LilithLilith Posts: 276Member
    edited August 19
    Cancel with note
    I always cancel with a polite note. I just can't bring myself not to at least thank them for considering a swap with me. It feels rude to me. When I send a swap request and they cancel without at least saying thanks, it makes me feel like they didn't even bother to look. On the other hand, I don't send a message when I initiate a swap or feel slighted if someone doesn't send any message to me when they ask for one.
  • PamPam Posts: 2,234Member
    Cancel with note
    I always leave a note even if its just a quick "Ive done so many swaps, I'm having a hard time finding things I need that aren't followed items." Ive actually started to follow things every time I even see something I like just so I know quickly if its really worth the time to look (I do anyway though),because I have done so many swaps that I really am trying not to get more things I don't need.

    Funny, it never occurred to me to leave a message when I request a swap unless its something I really want or to tell them to counter if they want.
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