Dear Wyatt: An Advice Column ♡

Sometimes we all need a second opinion:

“Does this new Bite lipstick wash me out?”

“Why can’t I sit still during any of these meditation apps?”

“Should I be subscribing to See New Beauty & Ipsy?”

Wyatt wants to hear from you and help ease your mind.

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Dear Wyatt,

I get a little anxious sometimes. I blame the mail lady. (Does she really need to ring the doorbell every. single. time. there’s a box thing? Because my person gets a lot of box things.) I can’t seem to stop staring at the front door. I just KNOW there’s stuff going on out there and I’m pretty sure the squirrels are right on the other side and how dare they exist let alone set foot in my yard. What do I do?

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Dear Olive,

I’m so glad you brought this up. I was worried that I was the only one that watched the door. We do not have a doorbell (that sounds VERY scary), but there is a person who collects trash outside our door, and mom says every night, “It’s OK, Wyatt, don’t worry.” But it is SO loud, and I hate it. I run to the door to try to scare them away. I think our humans know we are just trying to protect them. We want to keep them safe, and you are right, Olive; there is stuff going on out there.

PS: We also have a neighbor that makes the walls shake sometimes because of a thing my mom calls a “guitar,”(whatever that is), and sometimes she gets so upset she does out on the balcony and says “Pipe down John Mayer!” I don’t know who John Mayer is, but my mom does not like him.

PPS: Maybe we can have a play date someday and sit and watch the door together :heart:

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Dear Wyatt,

I like to think of myself as a sophisticated canine. Although I am often mistaken for an oversized Shiba Inu, I am equal parts Siberian Husky and German Shepherd. I feel this should earn me some respect, or at minimum, a little breed street cred.

Over the years, my humans have insisted upon dressing me up for their personal amusement. I have played the part of a Ty stuffed animal, Madonna, Marilyn Monroe, Sandy (the dog from Annie), and even that troublemaking dog that tugs on the bathing suit bottoms of the Coppertone girl. I didn’t mind wearing a dress at my wedding with my buddy Gus (I mean, it was pretty fabulous), however I am concerned that these get ups are not aiding in my pursuit to terrify doorbell loiterers with my shrill bark. Even the cat I share a space with doesn’t seem to be intimidated by me anymore.

Is it possible to be fierce in costume and keep my large dog breed reputation in tact? Asking for a friend.

Sincerely,

Piper





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Piper,

I too have been subjected to such past times.

My human refers to this activity as “dress up time” or “animal pretend”. :sob:

I feel that this is a safe space, so I’m going to share with you some of my most regrettable moments.

First, I feel that I need to provide context to this above photo. I was lured to this event called “Harry Puppers” under the guise that I would be getting treats and seeing my BFF’s.

Before I knew it, my human, and some person I didn’t recognize were coming towards me with these things called “glasses” that I couldn’t believe they were supposed to rest on my face.

I think that it goes without saying that the treats did not make up for this discomfort.

This was last Christmas and my human and her friends thought it was so cute that my “buns” were exposed. I was less than amused.

This last image haunts me because it is my humans screen saver, and I worry that one day, she may make me dress up as this “dog detective”.
il_340x270.2966656796_b9ck

I do have to say objectively speaking that it is nice that your human put so much thought in your costumes, and I think I would enjoy this activity more (possibly) if maybe my human invited my friends over so we could all partake in this together.

Thank you for sharing Piper :heart: You are both firece in and out of costume.

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Dear Wyatt and Piper -
At least you aren’t a Yorkie. I am subjected to wearing “cute” clothing every day while my siblings only have to wear items “for warmth” since they don’t have undercoats. Sometimes my humans even carry me in a purse.
There are no words to express the depths of my shame.




But look how cute I am in my jean jacket! Everyone showers me with complements and attention when I walk outside with my family. It makes me prance around and twirl until they call me “tiny dancer”
Alas, I suppose I am conflicted.
Prudence

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Dear Prudence,

I have to agree; you are incredibly cute in that jean jacket. My human also says that I require “layers” for warmth. I have mixed feelings about this “parka” that was gifted to me:

I must admit that I am a bit jealous that you get to be carried. Sometimes after an extended play date at the dog park, I will flop down and refuse to leave, and my human will carry me like a baby home. I enjoy that very much.

How was everyone’s holiday? I managed to get out of not wearing my holiday sweater for photos this year:

My human kept referring to me as her “Christmas ham” all week, and I have no idea what that means.

Thank you for writing in Prudence :heart:

:heart: Wyatt

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Good Morning friends :hearts: @Lindsey-MSA @Samantha-MSA @angelatrupo

I wanted to ask you all for advice on something odd my human has been doing for the last month. She’s had us doing this thing called “mediation” where a voice that makes me very sleepy talks to us:

Does anyone else’s human do this or other strange activities?

:hearts: Wyatt

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Dear Wyatt,
Our human lady does this thing called “sit-ups”. She lays on the floor. We think it is an invitation to climb on her belly, but we can’t all fit.
We wish she would just sit in a chair or lay on a bed.



So confusing.
Love,
Audrey, Lexi, Mallory, Prudence and Lisl :heart::heart:

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Dear Wyatt,

Why are humans so much bigger than me?

Signed,
Olive

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Dear Olive,

It is almost as if we are having a mind-meld :brain:

My human celebrated a birthday yesterday, and I saw her looking at these strange pictures of when she was a “baby”?

I did not know that humans can change sizes, or grow like us. Smaller humans come to play at our house but I thought some humans are small and some are big.

Let me show you what I mean:

this “baby” looks very strange to me. My human said that this was her, but I’m not convinced.

This one really disturbed me:

What is this baby doing, and why is it wearing such strange clothes? Also, is that a bike-it looks dangerous.

Regardless, I understand your concern. You should see if your human has these things called “baby pictures” as well, so we can get to the bottom of how this happens.

Good talking to you,

:heart: Wyatt

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Dear Wyatt

Petco delivered the wrong food. This is not what I eat, and it has a sticker with “Tammy” written on it. Who is Tammy? What am I supposed to do with this? Where is my blue Buffalo? I take umbrage at the insinuation my urinary tract health needs to be improved.

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I hope you don’t mind; I saw my BFF Steve at the dog park and told him about these shenanigans that happened with Petco that we decided to get out humans to take us there right now to ask “Who is Tammy, and why does our friend not have her food.”

We will report back soon.

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Dear Wyatt,
Please consider running for dog president. We could use a go-getter like you to represent our wishes. You definitely have 5 votes here!
:heart:A, L, P, M & L

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Dear A, L, P, M & L, :heart:

This made me very happy this morning to read. My human said I would make a good dog president because I like everyone I meet and want everyone to be happy all the time. Plus, my human said all my new friends on here could be part of my “cabinet”. I don’t know what that is, but she said it involve us all hanging out so I said YES.

@Jessica-MSA update on what happened at Petco last night. We got there, and it was closed. My human said that a letter preferably something called “Email” may be more effective. So we are going to try, but she said I can’t chew on the sides of the laptop like I want to.

Hope everyone’s having a good Saturday with their BFF’s

:heart: Wyatt

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